Quarantine the musical

***Trigger Warning - This post is just a series of laboured jokes and puns based on obscure songs, if this offends you consider skipping this post. You have been warned.***

...Whoa, I'm half way there!

 That's right, for those keeping track on my handy chart I've completed 6 days, and have 5 days to go! In honour of this milestone, I've adapted a some words from the great Jon Bon Jovi.

 Whoa, we're half-way there
Whoa, [quaran]'tining' on a prayer
DON'T Take my hand, we'll make it. I swear
Whoa, [quaran]'tining' on a prayer

 I was going to rewrite the whole song, but it got old by the time I got to second verse.  

It's coming home...

I've been getting up early to watch Euro 2020 (European Football Championship). I feel a bond with it, because like me it got weigh-laid by COVID. I really like that they didn't even bother to change the name... Euro 2021?

 Surprisingly, England are doing well and are into the final of a major tournament for the first time since '66. Mid-Sunday morning through my window, I saw an England support in his 60s staggering down the middle of the road, singing "It's coming home!" I'm not sure what he was singing about, I'm home and its not that great.

*Since almost all the people who read this won't get this reference, here is a link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Lions

Simply Red...

I've been working away at my desk everyday this week, its not like I have much else to do. I sit there, windows open looking out into the clear blue sky of a glorious Queensland winter. Yesterday, at the end of the day, I looked down and realised my legs were sunburnt. Only a ranga like me could get his legs and feet burnt in winter. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRFsZ1bifm0 

 Playlist for tonight

 Continuing on the musical theme, I've built a quarantine playlist.

 Disclaimer - I don't know all of these songs, just the titles fitted my joke. 

If you have any suggestions to add to the playlist, I'm all ears. Comment below.

UPDATE - Massive thanks to Pete for all the songs

 PS. Happy Birthday Dad.

COVID Jail

Its been a four days and I've settled into prison life. The guard here is cute, and I think she likes me. She keeps bringing me great food, I'm sure the other prisoners don't get this.

Prison food

On top of that the facilities here are great too, it feels just like home. Today, they even delivered a fridge to complete the Quarantine Kitchen. Like me, the fridge is a bit old but still cool.

My Kitchen Rules!

I've been assigned a job, which I work remotely at. The team I work with is nice, but geez it is busy. I'm so busy in fact, I've made this handy planner to help you keep track of my whereabouts.

Handy location planner

 

My single complaint is no yard time. The only time I'm allow outside is when I'm sent for a swabbing. They do have exercise equipment in my cell, but is somewhat rundown. I got two minutes into a ride and the pedal fell-off. Back to traditional prison exercises for me.

Just like riding a bike...

The mail service is great, but can be confronting. I got these two letters from my daughters pushed under my door today. 

 

Hope prevails

My second COVID test came back negative, so with good behavior I could be out on the 14th. I'm in good spirits and know God is smiling on me. The sun lit the literal silver-lining yesterday, and it was glorious.

View from my cell

Yours truly, 

Inmate #6664

A bargain too good to be true.

It's been a while since I posted here, but it seems I've have some time on my hands. 

You see, I got a bargain on Tuesday, a HD webcam for $70... and 11 days in COVID quarantine. It turns out, I happened to be in the shop at the same time as someone who unknowingly had 'the VID'*. So for ten minutes I was "exposed" to the virus. 

Close encounters of COVID kind

You've got mail...

On Friday afternoon, 1.5 hrs before I was due to go on a week and a half of leave, I received this text. I thought, no biggie, and rushed out to get tested, and was told to expect a result in 48 hrs. Fine, the extended lock down of my local government areas had forced me to cancel a family event the next day. Just an extra day of hanging around the house.

Beware of the fine print

I wasn't aware yet, but here in sunny Queensland, the iniquitous term "close contact" has a specific meaning. I googled around a bit and worked out that I may be asked to Quarantine at home for up to 14 days. Again I thought, well okay, I can handle that. I of course was thinking of isolation, not quarantine. Turn's out there are specific definitions for those as well. 

When I hadn't be contacted by a Contract Tracer by Saturday morning, I googled a number and rang them. While on hold, I received a call from a lovely lady named Jo from a QLD Public Health Unit. After asking a bunch of questions she explained to me that I would be formally receiving a "Direction" from the State  Government to quarantine inside my home until 12:45pm 13 July.

She went on to explain that quarantine means I need to be locked in a bedroom with a joining bathroom, separate from my wife and kids. If I have to leave the bedroom for any reason, I must wear a mask, and clean everything I touch behind me. Yep - Quarantine is a step up from isolation or lock down that is for sure.

The real impact here is on my wife. She has to look after 3 bouncy kids, in school holidays, while doing everything around the house. It impacts the kids too, my two year old clearly doesn't understand why I'm locked in a room and won't come out to play. My wife has been a super-hero in this and is the real MVP here.

Moving 

My wife was livid but pragmatic as always. After a surreal conversation, my wife  cleared out the bedroom, and I shifted my desk and computers into the bedroom and shut the door.   

I've been in here ever since. So far I have clean the windows, most of the walls, the en-suite sinks, my draws, the floor and the shower. I've decided to leave a little for later.

Always look on the bright-side of life

Its not all bad, I do really need a break and perhaps this is one way to slow down. In a conversation yelled through the window, my neighbour suggested I sent the notice to myself to get some peace and quiet. Asked If I could send him one too!

My boss has allowed me to cancel my leave so I won't be bored. I've got plenty of unfinished projects to work on and heaps to read / listen too.

I figured I'd revive the blog for a bit and see what funny observations I have while I'm locked in this room.

They say ten minutes can change your life. In this case not really my life, but certainly my holiday plans.

Worth it?

* 'The VID' is slang for COVID-19 used by old people trying to sound like young people.