The not so handy man

Building a brand

Those who know me, know I'm not great with building, fixing or handy man stuff. So last Friday we were down to the handy man task on my wife's to do list. I chose to see this as a chance to build my man brand.

It was a bit of a comedy of error as I stumbled through, fixing a stool, adding a lock to a window, planting some vegies and sharpening all the kitchen knifes. I tried to include Alex in these activities, well except the knife sharpening...

First off, we had a go at fixing a foot stool that a leg had come off. Up to the shed, a bit of glue, some screws and it was done... Well at least for 24hrs, when it came back broken again... Which I duly fixed again, and is now broken again... Luckily I was born in the age of computers and don't have to work with my hands.

Next was the window lock. How hard can it be? A couple of quick drills, and some screws no sweat. well that is unless you are me. I placed the drilling template, checked twice, and drilled away, 5 minutes of drilling with barely a scratch... I retrieve the metal drill bits and replace the wood drill bits... arh, much better, holes done. I placed the lock on to see if it fits and immediately realise my mistake... the lock has a larger foot print than the drilling template, and the rim of the window frame prevents the lock going on.

Now a normal person would think, gee I've done enough damage with the drill, let's seek help.  Not I, I have a horrible habit of doubling down, and escalating. I need a more powerful tool - Angle grinder time. Some how I managed to cut the window down just right, and get the lock fitted and only slightly crooked.

Change management techniques and children 

While I may not have a job that prepares me well for odd jobs around the house, but there are some elements of my job that do make parenting easier. For instance, the change management techniques we use to ease our clients through transitions can be applied to parenting. Particularly:

• communicating before, during and after a change or transition;
• building buy-in and ownership through inclusion;
• consultation and allowing choice; and
• gamification. 

Here are a few examples where I have applied these techniques effectively:

Transition away from enjoyable activity
Each afternoon Alex is allowed to watch cartoons from 5:30-6pm, for a while we had a mini-meltdown when we turned the TV off. Simply by communicating 5 mins, and then again 2 mins, before turning the TV off, we have greatly reduced the melt downs. This is literally as simple as saying "Alex, couple more minutes then we turn it off". This technique is further strengthen by giving Alex ownership of the act of turning the TV off. We do this by getting him to press stop on Netflix and turning the TV off with the remote.

The theory behind this is in general people don't like sudden change, by giving Alex a few extra minutes to process the change, he is better able to regulate his emotions when the change occurs. Furthermore, by involving Alex in turning the TV off, he feels that he has an element of control, and is part of the change process.

I use this communication technique with Alex when leaving a park, putting him to bed, and getting him out of the bath - really any situation that there is a transition away from something he likes. I blend in the ownership technique where ever I can e.g. get him to choose the last park equipment before leaving, and get him to pull the plug in the bath.

Consultation and choice
Another area we formally had trouble with was brushing teeth. Alex hated it. We bought a large pack of multi-coloured tooth brushes for him because they were on sale. What we discovered was if he is allowed to pick which colour tooth brush, he wants to brush his teeth. Unfortunately, he wants to do it so much, he wasn't allowing mummy or Daddy to do a proper job. My wife came up with a turn-about system of your turn, mummies turn which really works.

The theory behind this is if the child has some element of control, the activity will be something you do together, not do to them.

Gamification
This is turning an activity a child doesn't like into a game. I guess this is something parents have done since Adam and Eve chased Cain and Able around the garden. We use this in really simple ways, for example, getting Alex to his room by racing or chasing him in a playful way.

If you apply any change management techniques to raising your children, leave a comment, I'd be interested to see how.

#NerdLife
For those who know I have been building an system so we can control the air conditioner in the baby's room from our smart phones. Version 1 of the system is up and running. I won't nerd up this blog, but you can read about it here if you are so inclined.